1. |
Missionary Position
04:23
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Are you an angel in disguise
With blonde hair, big blue eyes
Are you Moroni or just a nice guy
With a bike between your thighs
You knock upon a stranger's door
And my heart skips, 2, 3, 4
You make my slacks feel tight
It gives me such a fright
Is this what companion's are for
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
Love you more, love you Mormon
I love you Mormon
All of my life I've been a'wishin
To be a part of God's big system
They say it's harmless
To see you in your garments
Now missionary's my favorite position
It doesn't matter where they send us
Just as long as I'm with you
Let me wash your tie
And I'll stay by your side
If we're in Provo or Peru
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
Love you more, love you Mormon
I love you Mormon
And when all of this is over
And all is said and done
We'll each settle down
In some suburban town
Wife and kids at 21
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
Love you more, love you Mormon
I love you Mormon
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2. |
Melody for Mammals
03:44
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When I first met you
I was a stoned dalmatian
My spots were melting
And my vision was changing
But you had hopes for me
And by the end of hour three
I felt better, felt better
I was wearing my puppy sweater
Ooh
When I first met you
I was a pet store goldfish
My belly was bloating
I was damn near close to floating
But you pitied me
And refused to flush me
So I kept swimming, kept swimming
Oh yeah I kept on living
Ooh
When you first met me
I was a cat stuck in a tree
All spit and claws
Too quick on the draw
But you rescued me
From that big old maple tree
With a big ladder, big ladder
To you the fall didn't matter
Ooh
You saved me
Like an endangered species
There's only one of you and
Only one of me
Like Bigfoot and good old Nessie
But you caught me, caught me
Too bad the picture's blurry
Ooh
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3. |
Things I Missed
02:22
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Like that time I was twelve and got bitten by a wasp
Or accepted my car keys would always be lost
Though the sting is gone and I've totaled the cost
That I miss you
Like a song I unwillingly stuck in my head
Or that time I sent the private link instead
No, it's nothing too serious. I'm just turning red
Cause I miss you
Bum bum bum bum bum
Oh there's plenty of things I have missed
Like ten years of cable or a new kind of kiss
Like the day we learned decimals
Or the whole damn point to Game of Thrones
But I guess I miss you too
Like a faucet still dripping all through the night
Or a big loud billboard spitting out white light
No, I can't turn it off, oh no how could I fight
When I miss you
Like a tired zoo animal hiding from some kids
Or a man charged with crimes that he didn't commit
No, I won't come out, no I'd never admit
That I miss you
Bum bum bum bum bum
Oh there's plenty of things I have missed
Like ten years of cable or a new kind of kiss
Like the day we learned decimals
Or the whole damn point to Game of Thrones
But I guess I miss you too
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4. |
Elephants
02:40
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The elephant in the room thinks she's alone
Who do you think let her in
She'd be happy in the closet if it weren't for the skeletons
Your secret's safe with me, my love
They won't know if you lie
The walls have ears
But they can't hear over the flies
I want to believe in life out there but
Does it believe in me
Is it still a secret
If no one believes
Watch your steps for snakes in the grass
They haven't mowed for days
We hide it from the neighbors
In a patch of heavy haze
Won't you come over for dinner sometime
You'll see I'm eating lean
I'd fix you up a plate
But someone spilled all of my beans
I want to believe in life out there but
Does it believe in me
Is it still a secret
If no one believes
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5. |
My Stupid Mouth
03:25
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The only thing I had for dinner were the words I ate last night
I tried seasoning and sugar, but they never turn out right
They're always undercooked, they're always salty and they're sour
But I love to eat them every day and snack upon the hour
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
I try to keep it clean, I try to brush and floss each day
But the words still pile up when I don't know what to say
Instead of going to the dentist I try to clean it myself
But they all come out all at once and I sound like someone else
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
I decided that I'm done with words unless they're all gourmet
Organic cruelty-free or put on a fucking Gucci plate
If I'm a picky eater, maybe I'll be a picky speaker too
Cause if I'm talking shit, maybe it's getting in my food
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
My stupid mouth, my stupid mouth
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6. |
The Poop Song
04:06
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You're a poopy girl and you're pooping real hard
And you're pooping now like a movie star and
Your bowel movements make me horny
When you're taking a dump, you know it smells real bad
But I like the smell, it really makes me glad and
I just wish you'd let me watch you
And I fantasize about the way you look
When you're on the can and you poop, poop, poop
And I bet you look like a queen on that toilet
And sometimes when you walk into a public bathroom
I'll follow you into the stall next to you and
Stare at your ankles while we're squeezing out mud monkeys
And I keep a log of every time you poop
I write it all down in my little brown book
And sometimes I worry about your regularity
So I slip a little fiber in your cup each day
I want your poop to come out okay
And those big ones hurt my asshole too
Your poop
Your poop
Your poop
Your motherfucking poop
Your poop
Your poop
Your poop
Your motherfucking poop
And I dream about this perfect world
Where we poop together then flush then swirl
And we watch it go down those drains
And I know it probably will never happen
Maybe we'll meet someday in poop heaven
And share a cold one while we're squeezing out a hot one
Your poop
Your poop
Your poop
Your motherfucking poop
Your poop
Your poop
Your poop
Your motherfucking poop
Yeah
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7. |
Brennan Is a Dick
03:22
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I know a guy who thinks he's really fly
I know a dude who thinks that he's the heart of cool
He buys nice bourbon and drinks it all himself
Makes fun of you if you can't reach the top shelf
He's an avid vegetarian
Rabid pedestrian
Saving the world by drinking himself sick
We all know that
Brennan is a dick
Brennan's a dick
Brennan's a dick
Bums a smoke from you with a pack in his hand
Says he'll pay for you and then he changes plans
He's rolling in that white boy money
Paying people to think he's funny
Got the emotional range of a carrot stick
He's an avid vegetarian
Rabid pedestrian
Saving the world by drinking himself sick
We all know that
Brennan is a dick
Brennan's a dick
Brennan's a dick
Brennan's a dick
Hey check out our dick
Thinks he's hot shit on the bass
But gonna take a hot shit on his face, yeah
Oh yeah, that Brennan is a dick
Brennan's a dick
Brennan's a dick
Brennan's a dick
Didn't I tell you
Brennan's a dick
Spread the word
Brennan's a turd
Call your congressman
Brennan's a dick
Brennan's a dick
Brennan's a dick
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8. |
Here's to the Sluts
03:00
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Here's to the sluts
The prostitutes, the peacemakers
Who break their backs and shake their moneymakers
Here's to the slags
Everyone thinks your life's a drag
But you're having the time of your life
My mama told me, don't you shave above the knee
You ain't that kind of lady my dear
And now my eyeliner is as sharp as my wit
No, I won't have none of it, no I won't have none of it
Here's to the sluts
The prostitutes, the peacemakers
Who break their backs and shake their moneymakers
Here's to the slags
Everyone thinks your life's a drag
But you're having the time of your life
Knees together, stand up straight
Don't curse use a purse, don't masturbate
My heels are high like a mid-April day
Stay out of my way, stay out of my way
Here's to the sluts
The prostitutes, the peacemakers
Who break their backs and shake their moneymakers
Here's to the slags
Everyone thinks your life's a drag
But you're having the time of your life
Here's to the sluts
The prostitutes, the peacemakers
Who break their backs and shake their moneymakers
Here's to the slags
Everyone thinks your life's a drag
But you're having the time of your life
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9. |
Horsegirl
05:15
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Say hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
Horsegirl you're my purebred joy
I wanna be your stable boy
Hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
You might be a little strange
The way you buck and toss your mane
Can I get in the saddle with you
Counting the pom-poms on her sweater
Always made me feel better
And her braiding is truly amazing
I like to watch her in the cafeteria grazing
She's got stallions on her notebook
And her locker's full of mares
Just can't stand to see that long face
All sad and full of tears
But she'll do her best
When she moves out west
But for now
Say hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
Horsegirl you're my purebred joy
I wanna be your stable boy
Hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
You might be a little strange
The way you buck and toss your mane
Can I get in the saddle with you
Some say she's a weirdo
Some say she's a creep
But I'd take my horsegirl
Over any of those sheep
I'll be your friend like Flicka
If you be my Seabiscuit
Let's have a sleepover
Just pizza rolls and National Velvet
But she'll do her best
When she moves out west
But for now
Say hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
Horsegirl you're my purebred joy
I wanna be your stable boy
Hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
You might be a little strange
The way you buck and toss your mane
Can I get in the saddle with you
She'll do her best
When she moves out west
But for now
Say hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
Horsegirl you're my purebred joy
I wanna be your stable boy
Hey to the neighbors
And nay to the haters
You might be a little strange
The way you buck and toss your mane
Can I get in the saddle with you
Yeah, I wanna ride into the sunset with you
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10. |
Dumped on Prom Night
03:12
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We've been waiting all senior year
To get corsages and boutonnieres
Our matching dress and tux felt right
Until you dumped me in the middle of the night
And I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
And it's not right
You said that you would be right back
Just going to the bathroom or getting a snack
I waited by the punchbowl for several hours
Now I'm all alone in the limo
Cause I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
And it's not right
I went to cry under the bleachers
And got stopped by one of our teachers
They asked me why I looked so glum
Tonight was all about having fun
But I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
And it's not right
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
And it's not right
You were so cruel no hesitation
And now I feel like tomorrow's decorations
I guess I can take in some solace
That nobody ever gets dumped in college
But I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
And it's not right
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
I was dumped on prom night
And it's not right
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11. |
Good in White
03:42
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Hush little baby, don't you cry
Nothing really happens when you die
You won't go to heaven or live in the sky
Cause halos are heavy
And people can't fly
Oh
Hush little baby, it's okay
You wouldn't want to go to heaven anyway
The air is thin and it's far too bright
And nobody ever looks good in white
Oh
Hush little baby, don't say a word
You shouldn't be sad when your prayers go unheard
Cause music is science and poetry is math
You make the world smarter every time you laugh
Ha-ha laugh ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oh
Hush little baby, don't you go
There's lots more in the world that you don't know
Perfection won't teach you anything
When you miss out on the lessons that mistakes can bring
Wonderful things that mistakes can bring
Oh
Hush little baby, it's okay
You wouldn't want to go to heaven anyway
The air is thin and it's far too bright
And nobody ever looks good in white
Oh
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12. |
Untitled
02:41
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What if the mountains were Earth's titties
And what if the forests were tree cities
Mama, you're dry as the desert
So won't you welcome the weather
Rain baby rain, oh, rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Oh
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Oh
What if the Amazon's just a corporation
And what if Hungary's just a sovereign nation
It won't blow over those Cliffs of Dover
No, it won't cross the southern plain
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Oh
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Rain baby rain
Oh
What if the mountains were Earth's titties
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13. |
Missionary Position
04:23
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Are you an angel in disguise
With blonde hair, big blue eyes
Are you Moroni or just a nice guy
With a bike between your thighs
You knock upon a stranger's door
And my heart skips, 2, 3, 4
You make my slacks feel tight
It gives me such a fright
Is this what companion's are for
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
Love you more, love you Mormon
I love you Mormon
All of my life I've been a'wishin
To be a part of God's big system
They say it's harmless
To see you in your garments
Now missionary's my favorite position
It doesn't matter where they send us
Just as long as I'm with you
Let me wash your tie
And I'll stay by your side
If we're in Provo or Peru
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
Love you more, love you Mormon
I love you Mormon
And when all of this is over
And all is said and done
We'll each settle down
In some suburban town
Wife and kids at 21
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
I love you more than Jesus
Jesus Christ, I love you more
Love you more, love you Mormon
I love you Mormon
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Stop Karen Salt Lake City, Utah
Stop Karen is Zooey Deschanel's chubby redneck cousin six beers into a house party.
We're also a four-
piece indie/folk/punk jello salad from Salt Lake City.
Current members as of May 2021:
Katie McEntire: songwriter/uke/vox , she/her
Brennan Waters: songwriter/bass/vox , he/him
Molly Porter: guitar/vox/songwriting muse , they/them
Kat Kellermeyer: drums/vox , they/them
... more
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